- Joined
- Dec 24, 2002
- Messages
- 1,169
Good to hear that you're okay, MB Guy.
My in-laws had to evac from Orange, but they're allright. They took a VERY long trip to Dallas.
What bothers me is that I saw a report that says that these nasty hurricanes may be part of a greater problem of cyclical warming of the Gulf and Atlantic waters. The severity of these hurricanes may go down in two or three decades, but that's still going to leave a lot of people in danger.
A senate subcommittee heard arguments on this issue this week. I can only imagine being a fly on that wall. I would think it would go something like this:
Scientist: "Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. The good news is that this severe hurricane season may not have to do with global climate change so much as..."
Senator 1: "Huh?"
Scientist: "Global climate change, sir. Some call it 'global warming'. Anyway, I ..."
Senator 1: "I KNEW IT! GLOBAL WARMING IS A FRAUD, AND ALL YOU LIBERAL HIPPIES NEED TO DIE RIGHT NOW! I'M GOING TO FILL UP MY SUV RIGHT NOW AND GO OUT AND KILL A WHALE!"
Senator 2: "I'm not a hippie, Mr. Senator. My love beads are simply for decorative purposes. Why cant we all just embrace global warming? I like it sunny and hot..."
(Grunts and squeals from the Senate floor)
Scientist: (sighing) "If I may continue. The bad news, and yes, its bad, is that we may be looking at MAJOR hurricanes for the next two to three decades, and we should prepare contingency plans..."
Senator 1: "What's a 'decade'?" Sounds communist! These "Decadians" are in league with the hurricanes! I say we appropriate ten billion dollars for military buildup and we attack first."
Senator 2: "The Decadians are only attacking because of our failed policies toward them in the past. I say we take that ten billion dollars and put in toward the affluent schools in my district so we can learn to be tolerant of Decadians everywhere."
Scientist: (blinks)
(Sounds of grunting, slurping, and horrifying meaty thuds I won't describe in detail emanating from the Senate floor. Some of the Senators have engaged in mutual grooming)
Scientist: "Please! Listen! Decades are units of time! They are ten-year periods!"
Senator 1: "What? How many stock quarters is that?"
Scientist: "We need to figure out how we're going to help the population in these regions."
(Senators 1 and 2 whisper in each others' ears.)
Senator 1: "Why do they live there? I mean, why would anyone live in a region where they're unsafe?"
(sound of distant D.C.-area gunshots)
Senator 2: "Yes. I mean, why can't they move to my area? Houses are only in the low $3 millions where I live. Hell, I bought five."
Scientist: "Sirs, there are millions of people in this area, and..."
Senator 2: "Are they Decadians?"
Senator 1: "If they are, we gotta call Homeland Security."
Scientist: (blinks)
Senator 1: "Well, this has all been fun, but you go back and tell your Governor Schwarzenegger that I don't care how many earthquakes he says he has caused, we can't make him president yet."
Scientist: "BUT I'M TALKING ABOUT THE GULF COAST!"
Senator 2: "I'm hungry. Is there anything to eat?"
(Senators both eye scientist. He swallows nervously....)
My in-laws had to evac from Orange, but they're allright. They took a VERY long trip to Dallas.
What bothers me is that I saw a report that says that these nasty hurricanes may be part of a greater problem of cyclical warming of the Gulf and Atlantic waters. The severity of these hurricanes may go down in two or three decades, but that's still going to leave a lot of people in danger.
A senate subcommittee heard arguments on this issue this week. I can only imagine being a fly on that wall. I would think it would go something like this:
Scientist: "Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. The good news is that this severe hurricane season may not have to do with global climate change so much as..."
Senator 1: "Huh?"
Scientist: "Global climate change, sir. Some call it 'global warming'. Anyway, I ..."
Senator 1: "I KNEW IT! GLOBAL WARMING IS A FRAUD, AND ALL YOU LIBERAL HIPPIES NEED TO DIE RIGHT NOW! I'M GOING TO FILL UP MY SUV RIGHT NOW AND GO OUT AND KILL A WHALE!"
Senator 2: "I'm not a hippie, Mr. Senator. My love beads are simply for decorative purposes. Why cant we all just embrace global warming? I like it sunny and hot..."
(Grunts and squeals from the Senate floor)
Scientist: (sighing) "If I may continue. The bad news, and yes, its bad, is that we may be looking at MAJOR hurricanes for the next two to three decades, and we should prepare contingency plans..."
Senator 1: "What's a 'decade'?" Sounds communist! These "Decadians" are in league with the hurricanes! I say we appropriate ten billion dollars for military buildup and we attack first."
Senator 2: "The Decadians are only attacking because of our failed policies toward them in the past. I say we take that ten billion dollars and put in toward the affluent schools in my district so we can learn to be tolerant of Decadians everywhere."
Scientist: (blinks)
(Sounds of grunting, slurping, and horrifying meaty thuds I won't describe in detail emanating from the Senate floor. Some of the Senators have engaged in mutual grooming)
Scientist: "Please! Listen! Decades are units of time! They are ten-year periods!"
Senator 1: "What? How many stock quarters is that?"
Scientist: "We need to figure out how we're going to help the population in these regions."
(Senators 1 and 2 whisper in each others' ears.)
Senator 1: "Why do they live there? I mean, why would anyone live in a region where they're unsafe?"
(sound of distant D.C.-area gunshots)
Senator 2: "Yes. I mean, why can't they move to my area? Houses are only in the low $3 millions where I live. Hell, I bought five."
Scientist: "Sirs, there are millions of people in this area, and..."
Senator 2: "Are they Decadians?"
Senator 1: "If they are, we gotta call Homeland Security."
Scientist: (blinks)
Senator 1: "Well, this has all been fun, but you go back and tell your Governor Schwarzenegger that I don't care how many earthquakes he says he has caused, we can't make him president yet."
Scientist: "BUT I'M TALKING ABOUT THE GULF COAST!"
Senator 2: "I'm hungry. Is there anything to eat?"
(Senators both eye scientist. He swallows nervously....)