as for the jacuzzi, i just hope its big enough for me to stretch out my legs... as for the humboldts, are they just that ugly, or mean too? maybe i better bring those brass tentacles....
Since the Infamous Jacuzzi of Doom exists in cyberspace, it is unencumbered by the laws of physics and therefore can accommodate an unlimited number of wayward TONMOers and/or squid. Kinda like Dr. Who's "TARDIS", or a Möbius strip, or that poiuyt
thingy they used to have in MAD Magazine.
IMHO Humboldts have very soulful eyes, so they're not that ugly. The jury is still out on whether they're mean or just inquisitive; the problem is that there's a fine line between groping and mauling (as any female who's been to a fraternity party can attest to). One documentary I saw portrayed them as herds of ravenous, aggressive monsters who will tear their living prey to pieces given the opportunity. And that's just the frat guys! The same is often said about Humboldts.
On the other hand, in an episode of ANIMAL PLANET's "Ultimate Animals" show, host Steve Leonard (Leonard, Irwin, O'Shea -- ever notice how many Antipodean naturalists are named Steve?) went on a nighttime dive to find out the truth about Humboldt squid. Shortly after he descended with his underwater lights on, a gang of Humboldts converged on him and started patting him down like airline security guards. At first he was terrified, but within a short time realized that they were just curious about his lights. He finally extricated himself from their grasp and got back to the boat, a little shaken but completely unharmed.
So I really don't know why Dosidicus gigas
pay so much attention to us -- positive or negative. Maybe they see us as competitors for their food supply. Maybe they're just naturally inquisitive about other living things. Maybe we look attractive to them (I've read some articles about dolphins along these lines, but I'd better not go there....
In any case, just to be sure, the next time you dive into Humboldt territory take those brass tentacles with you -- along with a bottle of champagne, a dozen roses, and a box of imported bonbons (hey, ya never know!)