Resurrected [Old Board Archive]: Documentaries

[Steve O'Shea]

Too bad Phil has to work for a living. It would be nice if he had time to do more animation (and to write more great articles).

You want to see the article ideas lining up. So much for an xmas vacation

 

[Emperor]

I'd certainly try something like WK and um... suggested.

I'd like to see how salty sea dogs story changes in the telling. Drag a larg squid model past a boat. Then record their reactions. Later interview them in detail and again after some time had elapsed. See if the story changes from:

"A giant squid floated past"

to:

"it was rocking the boat and had one of its tentacles around Jake but I attacked it with an axe and it left us alone".

Folklorists and socilogists have done studies into the way a story changes and mutates over time and it would be interesting to track a giant squid sighting from its start to the final big news reports (there was also 'The Great UFO Hoax' on British TV last moonth and they flew a remote controlled flying saucer around a bit and then recorded people's reactions - their statements were already widly different and greatly exageratted).

I'm sure a number of live giant squid sightings have a kernel of truth (the 19th century boat attack in Newfoundland rported to the Reverend Moses Harvey also came with a tentacle) but I'm also sure they aren't quite as exciting as they are made out to be

Emps

 

[Phil]

WK, perhaps models of various forms of teuthid could be used as decoys if mounted on the periscopes of submarines? I'm sure the Australian Navy would appreciate Mesonychoteuthis decoys at periscope depth? Perhaps the Norwegian navy could disguise its submarine as as an Architeuthis, eh Clem?

Emperor, do you read Fortean Times by any chance? I think they might employ you!

Too bad Phil has to work for a living. It would be nice if he had time to do more animation (and to write more great articles).

Aw shucks, cheers chaps! Much as I would like to dabble in pseudo-scientific explanations and smiley creation on TONMO, that just is not going to pay for my mortgage. Thanks anyway!

 

[Emperor]

Emperor, do you read Fortean Times by any chance? I think they might employ you!

Ahhhhhh shucks what gave it away :

http://www.forteantimes.com/forum/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=2496

Emps

 

[Steve O'Shea]

.... 2 weeks before 'hypothetical filming' starts.

Dig deep into your brains and think of weird, wonderful and bizarre things you could do with this model squid, and while you're at it, think of ways the squid could kill the sperm whale.

The 'Face Off' concept now includes a 'Face Off' between scientists, proponents for the whale ... and (sigh; short straw/losing battle) ... for the squid winning.

Tentacles/hooks in blow hole, around boy bits, scraping/gouging the throat and associated internal bleeding, ditto for the head, Colossal packs ganging up on naive young males, colossal-squid beak-induced constipation ....., swivelling hooks in whale eyes, beaks gouging eyes, big-momma squid dragging small whale down ......, colossal squeal disorienting whale and sending it careening to the sea floor, Colossal Venom!

 

[tonmo]

beak pinching blow-hole shut to the point of suffocation?

/all i got

 

[Steve O'Shea]

... doesn't look too good for the squid, does it. Hmmmmm. There goes my credibility and career ....

Do you think the squid could hunt in packs? What was that term invented last year (old board) for a hoard/pack of squid?

A squad of squid? Got to make this REAL mean!! Howz about a 'Terror of Squid'. Why am I so brain dead? I might have to resort to frightening or unnerving my debating colleague with rather unexpected body movements, facial contortions, blood-curdling screams .... and then pull out a chainsaw and deal to them.

 

[Emperor]

... doesn't look too good for the squid, does it. Hmmmmm. There goes my credibility and career ....

I don't know - all the whale has is the bite whereas the Giant Squid has multiple weapons and various areas to attack. I think what you'd need is a kamikaze squid to jump in its mouth and stay there as long as possible. Whale/GS encounters do seem to end up fatal to the squid but the whale is also often found dead too (if we can put faith in those accounts) - this wouldn't be so bad if the dead squid was the Suicide Squid which gave the others a chanc eto kill it.

Now here is an idea - find a D&D nerd and get them to work out weapon strengths and hit points and offer to play them at a game of 'Whale vs Giant Squid' start just one on one and then play again with more than one GS

Do you think the squid could hunt in packs? What was that term invented last year (old board) for a hoard/pack of squid?

A squad of squid? Got to make this REAL mean!! Howz about a 'Terror of Squid'.

I like it - you could have:

A Panic Of Giant Squid or a Fear of Giant Squid

A Terror of Colossal Squid

or try for something that brings the full trouser filling terror of seeing a pack of them - a trouserful or a pantload?

Why am I so brain dead? I might have to resort to frightening or unnerving my debating colleague with rather unexpected body movements, facial contortions, blood-curdling screams .... and then pull out a chainsaw and deal to them.

We'll call that Plan B

Emps

 

[Clem]

Avast Steve,

Instead of a mature physeter,show Messie giving the Cuisinart treatment to a calf. If Peter Benchley calls to threaten legal action, point out to him that his scenario in "Beast" involved a bastardized Architeuthis. Besides, he got his inspiration from an old pulp story, "Jackal of the Deep." I wonder if some of the jaw deformities found in Sperm whales aren't complications from injuries inflicted by squid, say, a bone-scraping snap from a beak, or an abcess formed around an embedded claw.

Or, toss the Sperm whale out the window and use a smaller squid-eating odontocete: "Messie vs. Pygmy." The poor whale gets a Taningia sized echo-locating return, only to find it's painted a Messie turned end-on to the whale's head. Surprise!

Much as I like the idea of using a Messie model to predict sonar returns of the genuine article, I'd guess that the model would have to have the same consistency to give an accurate result. A stiff plastic Messie would probably reflect a larger sonar return than the more absorbtive squid-flesh.

The notion of towing the model past whales is brilliant. Could you rig the model with sensors that register echo-locating hits? Could you reel the model in fast enough after ringing the dinner bell?



Clem

 

[Steve O'Shea]

Could you rig the model with sensors that register echo-locating hits? Could you reel the model in fast enough after ringing the dinner bell?

Avast Clem, this is genius!! I asked whether taking the squid to a certain locals in NZ (Kaikoura) where there are tons of young bulls was an option; unfortunately it wasn't .... but this really is a bonanza of an idea!! Maybe I'll press the matter (the bottom line is always $$).

Unfortunately you don't get female or calf sperms in the Antarctic; it appears to be males only (from what I've read). The literature I've reviewed might be a bit old, but what I have read is the smallest male harpooned in the Antarctic was 36 feet in length, with almost all others > 39 feet. It looks like it's a Colossal, or Trouser-full of Colossals vs near-full-grown male sperm whale.

The truth, that the calves/females aren't that far south, is just too interesting to 'strategically' overlook for the sake of a debate (and if my oponent knows a bit about these animals, and I suspect they do , then I could come out of it with a red face).
Cheers
O