Desperately Seeking Poem (Non-Ceph but Aquatic)

WhiteKiboko

TONMO Supporter
Registered
Joined
Feb 15, 2003
Messages
2,702
if youve ever seen 'canadian bacon' (john candy movie) steven wright is the mountie.....
 
Joined
Apr 3, 2003
Messages
1,137
A friend found this but not Tani's long lost favorite. It's Belloc, not Benet, but you might like it.

The Whale
by Hilaire Belloc

The Whale that wanders round the Pole
Is not a table fish.
You cannot bake or boil him whole
Nor serve him in a dish;

But you may cut his blubber up
And melt it down for oil.
And so replace the colza bean
(A product of the soil).

These facts should all be noted down
And ruminated on,
By every boy in Oxford town
Who wants to be a Don.



Melissa
 
Joined
Nov 20, 2002
Messages
1,073
Hi Melissa -- thank you! I've heard of Belloc as a Catholic theologian, but was unaware he wrote such charming light verse. Reminds me a lot of Ogden Nash, who was a master of satirical poetry and did a few especially cute ones on animals. A couple of my favorites:

  • THE PANTHER

    The panther is like a leopard,
    Except it hasn't been peppered.
    Should you behold a panther crouch,
    Prepare to say Ouch.
    Better yet, if called by a panther,
    Don't anther.
And here's one for Clem:

  • THE JELLYFISH

    Who wants my jellyfish?
    I'm not sellyfish!

PS: What's your schedule for the second week of July? I'm free the 9th, 10th, and 11th, so if you'd like to set up an Aquarium expedition then, send me a PM.

The Tanster
 

tonmo

Cthulhu
Staff member
Webmaster
Joined
May 30, 2000
Messages
10,596
There was once a great funk-rock band that played clubs in NYC called Yummy. One song was "Jellyfish", here are the lyrics from memory:

Jellyfish

Diving, diving, diving to the ocean
The gentle current floods me with emotion
I see a shark as he's gliding on by me
Baracudas are waving and smiling

Diving, diving, diving to the ocean
Crest of the wave it shatters my emotion
A lobster raises his claws, he salutes me
Starfish (unintelligible)
Charlie Tuna appears to say to me,

"Oh no look out beware a Jellyfish"
A peanut butter and Jellyfish
Yeah, look out! Look out!
Jellyfish
An icky sticky yucky Jellyfish

Jacques Cousteau is filming documentaries
A striped bass from the ocean's penetentaries
Blow fishes offer me their service
I'd like to oblige but I am nervous
If I reveal my trout today....

It might get stung by big ol' Jellyfish
A peanut butter and Jellyfish
Yeah, look out! Look out!
Jellyfish
An icky sticky yucky Jellyfish

Jellyfish....

Saltwater fills my ears
I cannot hear
The sound of people screaming
from the shore for me to look out.
To look out... (unintelligible)

Against the reef I was backed into a corner
Looked like the end, I was thinking about a coroner
Lucky for me I was carrying a weapon
My Bad-Jellyfish-Neutralizing Ray Gun
I'd like to introduce to you...

His name is Hector he's my Jellyfish
He is my buddy, he's my Jellyfish
Yeah, look out! Look out!
Jellyfish
My peanut butter and my Jellyfish
Jellyfish Jellyfish Jellyfish Jellyfish
Fishy fish
 

tonmo

Cthulhu
Staff member
Webmaster
Joined
May 30, 2000
Messages
10,596
In fact, here's an MP3 version of that song for your listening enjoyment. Don't let the jerky start fool you, that's by design.

One of my favorites!

Yummy's Jellyfish - nearly 5 megs
 
Joined
Nov 20, 2002
Messages
1,073
tonmo said:
In fact, here's an MP3 version of that song for your listening enjoyment. Don't let the jerky start fool you, that's by design.

One of my favorites!

Yummy's Jellyfish - nearly 5 megs

Great original lyrics (don't know how they got that "blowfish" pun past the media censors 8) ), great guitar work, unimpressive melody -- a little too "generic heavy metal". Actually I liked the slow bridge section and coda better because they sounded more "jellyfish-y" than the rest. (I've always seemed to associate jellyfish and nudibranchs with dreamy, spacey, New Age type music, I guess because of the visual "lava lamp" effect.)

I love the idea of "peanut butter and jellyfish".... wonder if that song was released before or after SPONGEBOB?

(I can just see Clem curled up in fetal position right now!)

Thanks for sharing the song,
Tani
 

tonmo

Cthulhu
Staff member
Webmaster
Joined
May 30, 2000
Messages
10,596
don't know how they got that "blowfish" pun past the media censors
Oh, their songs are rife with it, that's pretty much the only song that could possibly be shared here... I let it through on artistic license... :wink:

That was released well before Spongebob... unfortunately they are no longer a band... the guitarist died of a heroin overdose, as I understand it. Shame, they were a very, very entertaining show.

For some of the more... raunchy offerings, visit their site:

Yummy
 
Joined
Apr 3, 2003
Messages
1,137
Tony, thanks for the links to Yummy. This is delightful! I'm only sorry I can't see them now.

Tani, I have a copy of Belloc's Cautionary Tales for Children, with gorey illustrations. Few better combinations exist! The contents include "Franklin Hyde, who caroused in the Dirt and was corrected by his Uncle." and "Algernon, who played with a Loaded Gun, and, on missing his Sister, was reprimanded by his Father." The only drwwback is that is contains nary a cephalopod.

Melissa
 

Clem

Architeuthis
Registered
Joined
Apr 6, 2003
Messages
1,839
TaningiaDanae said:
(I can just see Clem curled up in fetal position right now!)

Taningia,

Coiled like a feeding tentacle, more like it.

Thanks to Kevin (Architeuthoceras), I've been able to read "Jackal of the Deep," a supremely purple bit of prose by one Paul Annixter. In this short story, a female sperm whale engages in an epic wrestling match with an über-squid. Annixter's description of the squid is worthy of a radio play:

This one was a giant of his kind. His mighty tentacles were as big around as flagpoles, each of them thirty-five feet long. They sprouted like the stalks of a turnip from a bleached and bulbous body fully as large as that of the cachalot, and shaped like a Zeppelin. The center of this grisly mass was a gaping, senile-looking mouth with an overhanging, parrot-like beak, on either side of which glared two lidless eyes of awful and appalling blackness.

Annixter's attempts to generate an aura of menace are undercut by his mingling of the dire (Zeppelin) and not-so-dire (turnip), and the dimensions of his "devilfish" are preposterous, but the story does have a fun pulp sensibility. Mama physeter amputates the squid's arms ("covered with round sucking discs, studded with black curved claws...") one by one, until the squid quits the scene and the whale is forced to surface before suffocating. Meanwhile, mama's calf is menaced by a spiteful pilot fish named Romero and his pal, a monstrous, 35-foot Grey Nurse shark.

Setting aside the squid's size and the dubious arrangement of its beak, Annixter describes something not unlike Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni, the colossal squid. His story has resonances with Benchley's "Beast," in which a sperm whale and her calf have a run-in with a falsified Architeuthis, but also recalls an apocryphal tale in which a sperm whale calf is said to have been drowned and dragged under by a monster squid (while mama watched helplessly). I imagine young Peter Benchley reading Paul Annixter's story in his Benet-edited volumes, tucking the images away for future reference.

:roll:

Clem
 

Latest Posts


Top