- Joined
- Nov 20, 2002
- Messages
- 1,073
[N.B.: The original "Octopus Wrestling" forum was for administrators only, so I had to post this as a new topic.]
Hey gang, here's a great idea for raising public consciousness of cephalopods, and perhaps even a little $$ for the cause!
Since Vince McMahon has made a fortune with his professional wrestling empire, why not go "pro" with octopus wrestling as well? It can be a weekly show on the Animal Planet network, featuring cephs going head-to-head (or arm to arm to arm to arm to arm to arm to arm to arm) with one another.
Instead of sports stadiums, you could hold the competitions at aquariums all over the world. Before matches the cephs can oil themselves down (with cod liver oil, of course), make rude gestures at their opponents (substituting "the tentacle" for "the finger"), and spit seawater and ink threateningly in each other's faces. They could wear glittery costumes or even fancy masks, and take such colorful names as Stone Cold Steve Architeuthis, The Rock Lobster, Kurt Angler, André the Giant Pacific Octopus, Rowdy Roddy Pipefish, and The Underwatertaker. Instead of Hell in a Cell, the main event could be Battle in an Atoll, or perhaps even Grief on a Reef.
Of course, every pro wrestling event needs a Novelty Act, so in this case we can "kill two kiwi birds with one stone" by making it a Handicap Grudge Match featuring Steve-O' against a dozen ravenous Humboldts in (what else?) our official TONMO Jacuzzi. Winner(s) will be awarded their choice of either a lifetime supply of krill, or a 500-liter keg of Foster's (and don't make any rash assumptions about who would choose what!)
From a strictly unbiased, critical, scientific and mature point of view, I think this is The Best Idea I Ever Had, and anyone who disagrees with me is a Big Nasty Foo-Foo Head.
"If ya smell-l-l-l-l-l what the Tanster is cookin'!" 8)
Hey gang, here's a great idea for raising public consciousness of cephalopods, and perhaps even a little $$ for the cause!
Since Vince McMahon has made a fortune with his professional wrestling empire, why not go "pro" with octopus wrestling as well? It can be a weekly show on the Animal Planet network, featuring cephs going head-to-head (or arm to arm to arm to arm to arm to arm to arm to arm) with one another.
Instead of sports stadiums, you could hold the competitions at aquariums all over the world. Before matches the cephs can oil themselves down (with cod liver oil, of course), make rude gestures at their opponents (substituting "the tentacle" for "the finger"), and spit seawater and ink threateningly in each other's faces. They could wear glittery costumes or even fancy masks, and take such colorful names as Stone Cold Steve Architeuthis, The Rock Lobster, Kurt Angler, André the Giant Pacific Octopus, Rowdy Roddy Pipefish, and The Underwatertaker. Instead of Hell in a Cell, the main event could be Battle in an Atoll, or perhaps even Grief on a Reef.
Of course, every pro wrestling event needs a Novelty Act, so in this case we can "kill two kiwi birds with one stone" by making it a Handicap Grudge Match featuring Steve-O' against a dozen ravenous Humboldts in (what else?) our official TONMO Jacuzzi. Winner(s) will be awarded their choice of either a lifetime supply of krill, or a 500-liter keg of Foster's (and don't make any rash assumptions about who would choose what!)
From a strictly unbiased, critical, scientific and mature point of view, I think this is The Best Idea I Ever Had, and anyone who disagrees with me is a Big Nasty Foo-Foo Head.
"If ya smell-l-l-l-l-l what the Tanster is cookin'!" 8)