Northlands Artifacts in Tonmo Marketplace

Dec 1, 2004
Salutations Phil,
Friend of the Nogs, Famed imbiber of Vast quantities of Nogland Ale, Buttock fondler extraordinare!

Alas the Evil NogBad the Bad has struck again in the sunny Northlands. This time after bewitching the court inventer Olaf the Lofty he broke into the Central Bank of Nogland.
He pillaged the vault and made off with several Nog artifacts including the Famed Trilobite shield of Thor Nogson and the Ammonite Handbag of Queen Nooka's Granny. NogBad the Bad has stated that the artifacts will be sold to raise funds for NogBads evil WineGum addiction!
All of Nogland would be grateful if thse items could be returned to the Central Bank in the true spirit of friendship with the Nogs. Failing that just give us the address of the buyer and I will send the Nogs round to chop off his dangly bits!


Noggin The Nog

King of the Nogs
Thankyou for your most enlightening and erudite contribution, Noggin. I'll pull some strings and see what I can do.

I'm surprised that Nogbad the Bad bothered to plunder the shores of far flung Britain for his Paleo-Danegeld. Scandinavia is positively awash with cephalopod fossils; hence the belemnite fossils known as "Thor's Thunderbolts" which make up 87% of the Baltic bedrock. One can only wonder what he hoped to gain by his evil ill-gotten scheme (?).

Perhaps Thor Nogson decided that belemnites would make great new spearpoints or ammonites earmuffs for Graculus the Cormorrant. Whatever happens, one must be wary.



"In the lands of the North, where the black rocks
stand guard against the cold sea, in the dark night
that is very long, the men of the Northlands sit by
their great log fires and they tell a tale..."
OMG :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
I've died & gone to Valhalla, sent there in the flames of my burning Daewoo Nubira 2.0 CDX estate (fully loaded with leather seats as befits the King of BS)
my childhood hero joins us at TONMO :notworth: I think I may have wet myself with joy :oops:

Having recently mourned the loss of Spike Milligan :roflmao: , Ian Dury :band: & the great Fred Dibnah :sun: I can smile once more :biggrin2:

when is Ivor the Engine joining us ? parp parp !
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