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Mesonychoteuthis humour!

Clem

Architeuthis
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The poor cows. Perhaps that's the amazonian equivalent of "cow-tipping."

"Hey, I'm buzzed. Let's go push a yanqui cow in the river."
"10 blow-darts says it'll be eaten to the bone in two minutes."
"You're out of your mind. One minute, and I'll raise you two doses of anaconda."
"You're on. Waitaminnit. You don't have any anaconda."
"I will. Look behind you."
"Dang, that's a big one. How big would you guess that is?"
"Ohhh, lessee, maybe one, two double-decker buses, plus a bull elephant."
"What's an elephant?"
"What's a double-decker bus?"

(silence.)

"I'm hungry."
 

GeoffC

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:lol:

But you seem to be mixing your units, Length is measured in Busses, Weight in Elephants. However I don't know what half units or multiples are called...

For further information I refer the honourable gentlemen to the same site that started this thread:

http://www.poormojo.org/cgi-bin/gennie.pl?Squid+127

"Notes From The Giant Squid: On the James Madison System of Weights and Measures (An Almanac Item)"
 

Clem

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My units are distinct and un-mixed, thank you. It's the buzzing, prankish Yanomanis who conflated length and weight. I'm sure they'd appreciate the correction.

"Who was that guy?"
"Some yanqui. Apparently, we conflated different standards of measure."
"Is that like mixing metaphors?"
"What's a metaphor?"

(silence)

"You think he could outfight an adolescent Mesonychoteuthis?"
"No, but fifteen Capybara pelts says he doesn't last one minute in the candiru pool."
"You're on."

:goofysca:

Clem
 

Phil

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Thanks for that link Geoff. It was very funny, whatever reality it comes from.

I hope Tani reads it!

Geoff, I totally agree with you about the use of a bull elephant as a 'norm' in kids science books of the seventies. It became a sort of 'British Gold Pachystandard' of its time. We used to be set complex maths problems at school such as:

'If an average sized Cockney Pearly King and Queen expand at a rate of one Imperial inch per week after eating X amounts of jellied eels, how many Pearly Kings and Queens could one place in a red double decker bus after Y weeks. And how many bowler hats could one fill up the rest of the space with? Please also calculate the drag co-efficient on the fully laiden bus and time taken to drive from Big Ben to Buckingham Palace'.

Capital, old chap.

Oh sorry, here's a squid! :meso:
 

WhiteKiboko

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GeoffC said:
, Length is measured in Busses, Weight in Elephants. However I don't know what half units or multiples are called...
wouldnt a hippo be about a half an elephant?
 

GeoffC

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Phil said:
Capital, old chap.
Indeed!! What ho, is this the Clapham omnibus? Threpenny one to Hamersmith please.

Clem said:
African or European jellied eels?
European jellied eels are, I believe, a migratory species, whereas African jellied eels are prone to hide among the mangroves. Therefore any jellied eels consumed north o' the river are likely to be European. But if you tawkin about your whelks, cockles or winkles... :snail:

Tata for now.
 

GeoffC

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WhiteKiboko said:
wouldnt a hippo be about a half an elephant?
No, that would be an Elep :jester:

But then what are hippo's divided into?? And how would you weigh these things anyway? Hmmm, this calls for the BIG set of scales.
 

Clem

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Quite right.

Unless, the African eels hitched a ride in the bilge tanks of a steam-vessel, or were introduced deliberately by a Sikh submariner intent on punishing the Sceptered Isle.

:snorkel:

Clem
 

Phil

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Ah, Clem, surely the humble Nautilus follows a miandering non-migratory pattern. I recall no Rura-Penthe in the English Channel.


(I'm getting a bit lost now).
 

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