Hello TONMOers/I offer cryptic greetings/disguised as haiku

[F'n'M]

Hey all you ceph fans,
I've decided that it's time
for me to de-lurk.

Perhaps I should say
a wee bit about myself,
but I've got "issues".

I'll tell you this much:
How I found TONMO.com
In my web travels.

A web article
on Mesonycoteuthis
yielded a surprise:

A quote or two by
a marine biologist,
name of 'Kat Bolstad'.

"Holy Squid!" says I,
"I remember this here Kat,
from the Good Old Days!"

Five minutes later,
The magic that is Google
Has landed me here.

Nice place you got here,
friendly folks, fun message boards;
I might stay a while.

"Wait," I hear you say,
"What's that about Tintenfisch?
How do you know her?"

Well, I could tell you,
but that would be too easy.
I want something fun:

I humbly offer
a challenge to Tintenfisch:
Find out who I am.

I sincerely hope
that you will remember me
from your murky past.

Of course, I'll drop hints
every now and then, so it
won't be too damn hard.

For instance, right now
I'm going off to grad school
At Tufts in the fall.

And what, you may ask,
do I plan to study there?
Not cephs, but music.

Picture an opera:
"Kat and the Colossal Squid".
My future project

But now I believe
I've overstretched my welcome,
So TTFN.

-- F'n'M

 

[tonmo]

Hey there F'n'M
Welcome to TONMO.com!
Make yourself at home.

 

[Tintenfisch]

Your lines ring bells, O
F'n'M (your name is how
Many syllables... ?)

Let's see... tell me if
Any stabs in the dark bring
me near to the truth.

You could be from the
Halls of TJ, a fiddler
From that there school there.

A singer perhaps
Finished undergraduate
In Boston as well?

Sprichst Du vielleicht Deutsch?
Dann kenn' ich Dich aus Waldsee
Oder auch Founders.

Or do these next lines
'On my honor, I will try... '
Proclaim you... Girl Scout?!

 

[F'n'M]

Your lines ring bells, O
F'n'M (your name is how
Many syllables... ?)

Your scansion is true,
my name hath three syllables:
Score one for TF.

You could be from the
Halls of TJ, a fiddler
From that there school there.

A fiddler? Sorry.
Surely, I am not a crab
with lopsided claws.

A singer perhaps
Finished undergraduate
In Boston as well?

My vocal talents
are acclaimed by some, but you
know me not for this.

My instrumental
tendencies are various,
but mostly quite loud.

As for undergrad,
I shall not say where I went;
'twould be a great clue.

Sprichst Du vielleicht Deutsch?
Dann kenn' ich Dich aus Waldsee
Oder auch Founders.

Um...nein? Je ne parle
qu'en français, s'il vous plaît...i
tolko po-russkiy.

Or do these next lines
'On my honor, I will try... '
Proclaim you... Girl Scout?!

Sadly, I fear that
my Y chromosome bars me
from that noted group.

(Clarification:
"F'n'M" has aught to do
with my given name.

'Tis but a nickname,
stemming from an episode
of bad potty-mouth.

This name was bestowed
in a far-off time and place,
of which you know not.)

Look for further clues
at a future date and time
to be determined.

-- F'n'M

 

[Tintenfisch]

Your scansion is true,
my name hath three syllables:
Score one for TF.

My job made easy
Euphrosine Vanderslice is
Not your name - hurrah!

My instrumental
tendencies are various,
but mostly quite loud.

O loud musician
Make you your noise on guitar
Brass, drums, or spinning?

(Clarification:
"F'n'M" has aught to do
with my given name.

Of course - that would be
Too easy. (Alas, sigh :? ) ... I
Enjoy this challenge...

Piece by puzzle piece
The answer slowly forms. This
Does quite intrigue me:

Russian, French, music,
Tufts, male, a long-winded joke...
Think, think, think, think think.